Thursday, May 14, 2015
To my dearest Tenshi-sama,
Happy 6 monthsary
(half-a-year-sary???) to us! Hope you don't mind that I decided to post my
letter this way instead of the usual way *wink wink*
Looking back at these 6 months, I am still amazed at how
easily we match and complement each other. Our values, common interests
(holiday, movies, food) and hobbies (gaming, reading and manga) etc.
In these 6 months, I have seen what a kind, loving, cheerful
and understanding person you are (although you constantly deny it) to everyone
around you. You always seem to put others ahead of yourself, and I'm always
awed by your selflessness (and eagerness to bake) :)
I always feel like I'm just an ordinary guy, and yet you can make me feel like I'm at the top of the mountain banging my chest and roaring (like a bear of course). You
really are my tenshi. To borrow lines from an old song,
"And as I look
into your eyes
I see an angel in disguise
Sent from God above for me to love
To hold and idolize"
-Like a rose by A1
If these 6 months we spent together as a couple can be
extrapolated to the rest of our lives, I think I am a very lucky guy indeed to
have you. *muacks* may we have even more months, years and decades together :)
Love,
Rolan
-rolan spread his wings of words-
3:32 PM
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Had a farewell dinner with Ben, cos he was flying off to Australia for his final flight course on thursday. Everything was going smoothly as per normal, everyone was drinking and eating and making happy conversation. Until the end.
Des was talking about startups, how they are sometimes grossly overvalued etc. To be frank, I wasn't giving 100% concentration. Somehow, Ivan took umbrage at his point/topic and they started arguing and being unhappy.
I dunno who is right or wrong (could be both right or both wrong even). My point is, ever since I dunno when, both Des and Ivan seems to be getting into minor arguments most of the times. Is this what it means by ba zi bu he? (Their birthsigns clashed?)
-rolan spread his wings of words-
10:41 PM
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
How can someone take such good care of you physically, and yet cause you so much emotional trauma anytime you try to make her see your point? Or is my point wrong?
I was at the shop today, and it randomly occured to me that my mum has no trust. Not in me, not in my dad, my sis or my bro. None. Zilch. Today my sis drove e car out to a fren's place to chill. My mum has been calling her since 1230am to get her home. Every half hour. Scolding her, threatening not to sleep until she reaches home. Just the usual sort of stuff she does. Sis calls me, ask me to get mum to go sleep.
I sigh. Arguing with my mum is like smashing your head against a steel wall. You can't win.
I nonchalantly walk out to grab an apple, pretending eating the fruit is my primary objective and talking to her a secondary. She is angry my sis took the car. She is angry my sis is out late at night. She is angry that her uni results aren't good. She is angry my sis this, angry my sis that.
I tried to use logic. My sis has been a good girl, she hasn't done anything wrong all this while, why do you distrust her so? My mum counters with opposite side of coin: By the time something wrong occurs, it's too late. I tried more logic, do you think just by staying out late makes a bad daughter? She counters by listing my sis failure at studies, wasting her precious money (of course she didn't say that blatantly), spending $$$ to watch K-pop concert when she haven't even earn any money at all!?
I ask her: Did she pay you back the money with her allowance? Let me ask you, dear readers, my points at this POINT are still valid right? She said, "She still ask me for allowance during her school holidays!"
I was like, "So cut her allowance during the holidays la! But remember we stay in condo, own a car, you really wanna be so stingy with your money?"
And then she blew up. Say she is going to sell the house, sell the car. I was like rightttttttttttttt. Pour more oil on the fire: Are you gonna sell the shop too?
At this point I managed to pissed her off into bed. Mission Accomplished. She had some parting shots left for me though. Like how hard she gave birth to me, how anyone who felt the pain she felt would NEVER give birth again. I ask her if she heard of c-section.
Well, her last few shots did hurt a little, as she intended. But the damage was light. Cos you know, she always like to use emotional blackmail, but I have seen it too many times, on me, on others. My armour was like top notch by now.
So here we are, yet another documentation of why I DON'T communicate with my mum. She thinks she is right. I know I am right. We butt heads, everyone pain but it never helps. We talk, but never communicate. She is always right, quick to judge, if you don't tell her anything, she can't judge anything.
Edited: I heard some noise outside and went out. She was sitting in the living room AGAIN :( Mission Failed.
-rolan spread his wings of words-
1:50 AM
Thursday, March 01, 2012
... so i decided to write something of significance here. After, this is the first time I manned the shop for such a long stretch of 5 days without dad. Yep, my parents decided very last minute, about 2 weeks ago to go on a trip to Hainan Island with my Aunt and Uncle. I have been Captain of the ship for the last 5 days, my dear old sis backing my play.
Oh boy, and what a five days it has been. There have of course been two other periods where I manned the shop when my parents went to Malacca and Genting, but both were short trips of 2 days, and customers will usually say they will return when my dad is back in 1 or 2 days.
But because it was 5 days, and also probably because there were sat and sun to consider, there were considerable traffic at the shop over 5 days (although we kept a count of 10 customers that said they were return when dad is back). Truth to be told, i had expected more to say that. But maybe wearing a shirt, looking confident helps, and also some customers have seen me around for a while now.
These 5 days were a trial, and i felt like i had progress somewhat further along this line of work. I used to really hate the sales portion of work, cos seriously memorizing all the different prices was tough. There were different type of spectacle brands, whether they are full frame, half frame or frameless, whether uncoat, multicoat, the thickness index, whether transition and/or progressive plus the different types of lens brand like HiTop, Hoya, Essilor, Kodak etc. But now, I'm better at it and after these 5 days, I dun fear the sales portion anymore. Baptism by fire?
My sis can also attest to my growing state of paranoia as the days passed. That's because, i think, as days passed the number of matters i need to remember piles up in my brain and my old aging brain can't keep up so i kept asking the vice captain aka sis about stuff that has been settled but because of my brain state i kept wondering if i made a mistake. 0_0"
And of course i made some mistakes over these five days, but thankfully nothing of a earthshaking magnitude. Nothing that dad can't cover with his 30 years of experience :)
And i think back how some weeks ago, this uni fren whom i met up with was rather surprised that I choose to work at my dad's shop. I guess she always figured me to follow my dreams of becoming a writer, to do writing for a living. But u know, she is doing business writing now and it aren't easy. I think back to half a year ago, me searching for jobs, sending out resumes without responses. I even sent to the company she is working for now, but she told me then they had someone and it jus so happen he quit and she took over.
Such is fate, I guess. At the end of 2010, I tried out Caryn's recommendation of working at NCSS corp comm as temp staff, i tot it was ok, they offered me a perm position but turns out things get ugly when u become perm, i quit in mid june, can't find a job in 2-3 months, slunk back to dad with my tail between my legs... But it has been an experience. Cos if i didn't try it, how would i know i hate it? Or know i can endure it? and gradually grow to accept and like it?
I just wanna say, nobody grows by standing still. Neither will anything change. You hear me?
-rolan spread his wings of words-
1:32 AM
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Sometimes I wonder if how i behave and carry myself is because of how others perceive me, so i have to conform to that particular image. Or is it because people really perceive me as some "type" because of how i behave.
-rolan spread his wings of words-
10:04 PM
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Was watching first season of Initial D today, and it made me realise how much i love driving, and how privileged i was to have a car to drive in sg. Dun worry friends, I am not going to start attempting to drift on roads.
I realise that many friends find my driving "dangerous" and that I "tailgate". Example tonight, I was driving up the lentor entrance into CTE and Desmond went like "Woah, too close to the vehicle in front. U tailgating him?" In my attempt to enlighten him, I tried to move closer to the vehicle infront (slowly closing the gap) to show him that tailgate is REALLY SCARILY NEAR which I have the many unfortunate opportunities to observe when my dad gets angry. Really once the vehicle infront brakes, its accident liao. Tat's tailgating. My distance allows me time to apply emergency braking. Anyway Des went like no need to demonstrate :)
But, I really like driving. Call it a cheap thrill, but there is a rush when u r going fast. Ur reflexes and senses have to be heightened and looking sharp. Unless I am right about to fall asleep, no matter how tired I am, I perk up a little in the driver's seat. I am (not-so) proud to say that my accidents occur during low speed situations... and thankfully they are minor ones. Ok, now much go touchwood liao.
-rolan spread his wings of words-
12:32 AM
Thursday, July 07, 2011
You never know when you might get insomnia... i think. Usually I have no problem sleeping, but sometime when the mind is kinda overactive, just refuses to shut down. Venturing from topic to topic refusing to take a rest. I tried warm milo, switching on the aircon, changing sleeping position... nothing works. Been trying to sleep since 1.30am. It's 4.20 now. Sigh.
Dad has been pretty sick over the last week, gotten so bad that he couldn't go to work last 2 days. Me and my sis headed down to take over. Thankfully, not too much "action", nothing we couldn't handle. Hopefully Dad is ok to head back tomorrow.
On a separate note, I was thinking about shoes. Most people go thru life hoping to get a pair that they really like, but some are barefooted and couldn't care. Some prioritise comfort, others want something beautiful and yet others want it to be cheap and low maintenance. Others bought the shoes but now wants to throw it away. Which kind are you?
-rolan spread his wings of words-
4:16 AM